Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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