My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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