I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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