Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
