in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
