I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
