To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
