Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My breasts were aching with rage.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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