at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize