Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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