I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize