are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
