Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
