woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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