I'm jealous of your bromance
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
