So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
