I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think i have two assholes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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