Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
