Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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