Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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