his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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