I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
