I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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