SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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