He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
