I just threw up on my dentist
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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