Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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