In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
