So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
