i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
