yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
