i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She even gives head with a lisp.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
why is half of my head shaved?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
