you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
