the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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