3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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