Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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