Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
