Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Got a toothbrush?

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(443): View more from Maryland

you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it

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(916): View more from California

Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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(307): View more from Wyoming

He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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(907): View more from Alaska

She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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(561): View more from Florida

I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Dude, running 15 min late.

(1-636): View more from Missouri

Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.

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