jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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