9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
