4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm too high and old for this...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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