you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
