it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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