Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
