dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
