I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
