I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
