trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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