My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
