Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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