hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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