like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
