Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
