You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize