Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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