I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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