I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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