just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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