Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
