Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
