Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
