oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
