He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
