I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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